Friend zone speech

“Look, You are a really nice guy but I think that going out would just ruin
our friendship. You understand, right?” I am sure that many of you men have
heard something along these lines from a girl you have tried to ask
out. You keep getting compliments from her about how sweet you are and
how much she loves you but she never wants to advance your
relationship. Well you, my friends, are in the cruel hell that is
otherwise known as the friend zone. And that is why you are present
today at the Society of Friend Zoned Victims annual banquet. Today I will tell you
what the friend zone is, how you have ended up in the abyss of
unhappiness, and most importantly how to get out of it.
Ryan Reynolds describes the friend zone as “The penalty box of dating;
only you can never get out. Once a girl decides you’re her ‘friend,’
it is game over. You’ve become a complete non-sexual entity in her
eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”

They person being friend zoned is not necessarily always a guy, as you
can see by the presence of ladies in the audience, anyone can fall victim to this social
pandemic. However, we men do seem, statistically speaking, to bear the brunt of this
issue.

The people who are friend
zoning are not always aware of what they are doing, in most cases they
are completely oblivious to the matter at hand so they are not
completely to blame. Here are a few ways to tell if you are in the
friend zone. If she consistently doesn’t wear makeup when she is with you, then you
have been friend zoned. If she comes to you crying because a guy dumps
her you have been friend zoned. If she tries to set you up with one of her friends,
then its clear, she has no current interest in you romantically.

Now a lot of you may be wondering what it is that you have done to
have to deserve the cruel and unusual punishment that is, the friend
zone. And the truth may confuse you. The fact of the matter is, you
are too nice. That is it. You were simply too nice to the person you
were trying to impress. Let me set out a scenario. Say that there is
Person A who is a really nice guy. If person A complements a girl she
will think that he is just being the nice guy that he is and not thinking
to much of it and that he is nice to everybody. And then there is
person B who is a jerk. If person B complements a girl she will be
very flattered because she knows that he is not nice to everybody.

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